Sardar

Anil
sardar:-aaj maine paani ko ullu banaya
wife:-woh kaise?
sardar:-aaj maine nahane ke liye paani garam kiya aur thande se naha liya??????

Project Manager

Anil
A tourist walked into a pet shop and was looking at the animals on display. While he was there, another customer walked in and said to the shopkeeper, "I'll have a C monkey please."
The shopkeeper nodded, went over to a cage at the side of the shop and took out a monkey. He fit a collar and leash, handed it to the customer, saying, "That'll be $5000." The customer paid and walked out with his monkey.
Startled, the tourist went over to the shopkeeper and said, "That was a very expensive monkey.Why did it cost so much?" The shopkeeper answered, "Ah, that monkey can program in C - very fast, tight code, no bugs, well worth the money."
The tourist looked at the monkey in another age. "That one's even more expensive! $10,000! What does it do?" "Oh, that one's a C++ monkey; it can manage object-oriented programming, Visual C++, even some Java. All the really useful stuff," said the shopkeeper.

The tourist looked around for a little longer and saw a third monkey in a cage of its own. The price tag around its neck read $50,000. He gasped to the shopkeeper,"That one costs more than all the other put together! What on earth does it do?" The shopkeeper replied, "Well, I haven't actually seen it do
anything, but the other monkeys call him the project manager."

Microsoft XP Telugu released

Anil
Hey here is a link for Microsoft XP Telugu..
http://www.microsoft.com/downloads/details.aspx?FamilyID=0db2e8f9-79c4-4625-a07a-0cc1b341be7c&displaylang=te
Go thru the link and enjoy the Telugu usagae in it..

Sardar at his best

Que: - What is the height of stupidity?
Ans: - 2 sardarjis sitting on a motorcycle & fighting for a
window seat
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Once a sardar calls another sardar on the phone and
says "Hi, Main Bol Raha Hoon".
The other sardar replies "Kamaal Hain,
Ithe bhi Main Bol Raha Hoon!"
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A Sardar had called an Englishman for lunch. There was
curd on the table. The guest asked what is this? The
Sardar didn't know proper English, he said "Milk
sleeping in night, morning becomes tight"
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Sardar1: - Marte Waqt Aadmi Ko Kya Dena Chahiye?
Sardar2: -Birla cement
Sardar1: -Kyun?
Sardar2: - Kyunki Is Cement Mein Jaan Hain
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Did you hear about the sardarji who is so rich he has
two swimming pools, one of which is always empty?
It is for people who can't swim!
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Santa Singh: Will this bus take me to Jalandhar?
Driver: Which part?
Santa Singh: All of me, of course!
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Sardarji calls Air India. 'How long does it take to
fly to Amritsar?'
'Just a sec,' says the customer service assistant.
'Thank you.' says the Sardarji and hangs up.
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Santa Singh goes to a TV shop and asks, 'Aap ke paas
color TV hai kya?' 'Haan' replies shop owner. Santa
Singh says, 'Ek hara vala dena!'
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Once Santa Singh was riding a cycle and he suddenly
hit a girl!
So girl shouted, 'Sala Break nahi maar sakta tha!!!'
And sardarji replied, 'Poori cycle to maar di ab
break kya alag se maroon??????????????????? '
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Banta Singh happened to be in a queue at a railway
station ticket counter with two men ahead of him. 'Ek
Punjab Mail dena.' demanded the man in front. He was
given a ticket. 'Ek Punjab Mail dena.' the second man
asked and was handed a ticket. Then came the turn of
Banta Singh, 'Ek Punjab female dena!' 'What do u mean
by Punjab female?' asked the clerk. 'It is for my
wife' replied Banta Singh.

Cricket Fielding positions...

Anil

Anil
A lecturer, when explaining stress management to an audience, raised a glass of water and asked, "How heavy is this glass of water?"
Answers called out ranged from 20g to 500g.

The lecturer replied, "The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends on how long you try to hold it. If I hold it for a minute, that's not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm. If I hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance.

In each case, it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes." He continued, "and that's the way it is with stress management.
If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won't be able to carry on." "As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again. When we're refreshed, we can carry on with the burden."
In simple words, if you have a problem or anything that is eating into your peace, keep it aside for as much of time as you can afford to, and come back to it. You will be amazed at how quickly the issue becomes a non issue, in your second consideration. "So, before you return home tonight, put the burden of the day down. Don't carry it home. You can pick it up tomorrow. Whatever burdens you're carrying now, let them down for a moment if you can."

So, my friends, why not take a while to just simply RELAX.
Put down anything that may be a burden to you right now. Don't pick it up again until after you've rested a while. Life is short. Enjoy it!